“I love Karl Lagerfeld, and [PETA] hate him because he showed fur in his collection, and they protested his fashion show. People were chanting outside, “KARL LAGERFELD IS A MURDERER! KARL LAGERFELD IS A MURDERER!” And I thought, “Wouldn’t it be fabulous if Karl Lagerfeld actually was a murderer?” Like, what if he just fuckin’ lost it one day…backstage at a show in Milan…and bludgeoned Elsa Klensch to death with a platform shoe. “I HATE THAT BLOUSE!” “

“The best part of any fashion show is Karl Lagerfeld with his white hair, and the big glasses, and a fuckin’ fan. Like he’s some kind of Spanish lady or something. And I look at the fan and I’m like, “Bitch, it’s not that hot, what’choo doin’?”"

- Margaret Cho, I’m The One That I Want

More on the ridiculous fan-less Karl Lagerfeld figure at WWD.com. Edit: Apparently Karl stopped carrying a fan after he lost all the weight. Why does no one tell me these things?

- Christopher