Dude, listen. I’m not a prude, alright? I’m about the most liberal guy you’re going to meet. And in case you didn’t notice? I’m actually SELLING the porn, so clearly, I don’t have that much of a problem with it. Whatever you want to buy is your business, I’m just here to take your money. But do you really have to be so incredibly awkward about buying your porn? Really? Because it’s… it’s making it hard for me to deal with you. Like, stop pretending that you are here for anything other than porn. Yes, you’re very interested in the magazine rack… for about 10 seconds. Let’s also stop pretending that you don’t know EXACTLY WHAT THE NAME OF THE BOOK YOU WANT is, because we both know from your awkward stumbling that you’ve been researching it on the internet for weeks. “I… I think it might be called ______?” Yeah, you think. Good one.
Listen, buddy, whatever floats your boat. I’m even here to put you at ease and facilitate your purchase, but honestly? You’ve gotta acknowledge that you’re buying porn and then move on… because you’re really not making this a very pleasant transaction for either of us.
Thanks.
– Christopher
(P.S.: He kept asking for “Anime” over and over again like he had aspergers, and then I would show him the anime, and then he’d be like “No, I want the Anime books” which is manga, and I’d explain that and… yeah. It turns out in the end he wanted Butterscotch by Milo Manara, which is very not-manga. Now he’s digging through every porn title wanting to take it out of the shrink-wrap… We won’t be doing that. Those are shrink-wrapped for our protection as much as his.)
Actually, I don’t know if I’d prefer that behavior to the guy who asks us for “COMICS WHERE GIRLS ARE TIED UP” in a very loud voice, invariably while the shop is crowded.
Wow, I think that guy used to shop at the comic store I used to work at way back in the 90’s. Guess he moved to Canada! (We also get variants of that customer at cons. And yes, they want to unbag every bagged adult title we carry…)
@ Mike: We had that customer, too! It frightens me that there is more than one out there!
Hey, “Butterscotch” is more than just porn, it’s also uh well that is…all right, it’s just porn. But, man, that Milo Minara sure can draw purty ladies.
Preach on Brother man, PREACH ON!
Had one of those “guys” in on the weekend…they don’t seem to get that I (or you) will be able to help them find what they want much faster if they just tell me it’s ‘adult’ in nature. Cause clearly, if you are looking for Bondage Fairies but you can’t recall what it’s called (shea, right) it’s not going to be next to the Astro Boy.
As an expert in this field, I feel obligated to dispense these tips for facilitating easy transaction and procurement of porn manga for weary buyers:
1. Write down the books you want to buy on a small piece of paper and simply hand it to the register to avoid awkward or lengthy conversations. This is a good opportunity to practice your non-writing hand.
2. If maintaning anonymity is a concern, obscure yourself with a practical ensemble of sunglasses, a baseball cap, and some inpromptu facial growth. A bandana makes a stylish adornment.
3. For those with self-esteem issues or lacking the courage to purchase porn in public, carrying a large blunt object may boost your level of confidence.
If you follow these tips, your shopping experience will be greatly enhanced. You may even be given star treatment usually reserved for celebrities such as OJ Simpson, Paris Hilton, and Jacko!
However, if you follow these steps, make extra double sure you’re in a comics shop.